By Spike Milligan
'At Victoria station the R.T.O. gave me a trip warrant, a white feather and an image of Hitler marked 'This is your enemy'. I searched each compartment, yet he wasn't at the train'. Spike Milligan's at the march, blitzing good friend and foe alike together with his uproarious memories of military existence from enlistment to the touchdown at Algiers in 1943. Bathos, pathos and gales of drunken laughter, and insane army goonery explode in superlative Milliganese.
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Additional resources for Adolf Hitler: My Part in his Downfall (War Memoirs Vol. 1)
The doctor’s anti-Semitic,” raged Frick. ” He smeared the soles of his feet with Brylcreem, then stood on a piece of paper. ” “You’re too bleeding fat, mate,” said Gunner Knot. ” Outraged he replied, “I’ll bloody show you it’s not,” and then stood on his head while two of us held up a board covered in paper while he pressed his feet against it. At which moment the orderly officer entered the room. He stood silent before the strange tableau, muttered something to the duty sergeant and left. Next morning Gunner Frick was remanded for a psychiatrist’s report and Part Two Orders bore this warning: “An orderly officer has reported that certain black magic rituals are being practised in barrack rooms.
Off went Gunner Balfour, the Battery champion athletes foot. Another hour. He was lost. ” A distant ‘BOOM’. P. we heard the whistle as the rare projectile passed overhead into the Channel, a pause, a splash, then silence…it was a dud. How could the Third Reich stand up to this punishment! Next day at low tide we were sent out to look for traces of the lost projectile; we didn’t, but it was a nice day for that sort of thing. , Bexhill, the day after the famous dud shell was fired, looking for traces of the lost projectile Gunner Milligan at the mighty Spandau LIFE IN BEXHILL 1940-41 In Bexhill life carried on.
It’s dangerous. ” The report said: “There is nothing wrong with this man. ” “Right,” said Leather Suitcase. ” “Look sir,” said Neat, hopefully. ” “Finished? Right! ” Nead stood tottering for a moment. ” This got him another fourteen daps on top of the fifty-six. After this he was posted. Where to? The Tower Armoury. Gunner Herman Frick was our hypochondriac. He wanted out. O. gave him three aspirins. Which is the Army way of saying you’re a bloody liar. “The doctor’s anti-Semitic,” raged Frick.